


Time

by allthewaytoerebor



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthewaytoerebor/pseuds/allthewaytoerebor
Summary: Bilbo was alone.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Kudos: 26





	Time

Bilbo was alone.  
Utterly, deeply alone.  
He had gotten used to the loneliness as he had aged, but then 13 dwarves had come along, and he hadn’t been alone for one single moment.  
But now, the lonesomeness pressed down upon his empty home more than ever before.  
They had said they would come and see him eventually. He knew that rebuilding the mountain would take time, and they wouldn’t have any time left to spare him any thoughts, but he’d not even gotten any letters back yet. Surely they must just be too busy, and only few weeks had passed since he sent the letter where he told them all about his travels back to the shire.

Suddenly, months had gone by. No letters were sent to him. Indeed, he was alone.  
Some days, he would be able to pretend. He would go to the market, look after his garden, greet his fellow hobbits, and even have guests over for dinner from time to time.  
Other days, even that was too much. He wouldn’t go to the market. He wouldn’t even get out of bed, he wouldn’t eat, he would only stay in the numbing darkness, unable to hold his tears back. He sometimes wept for hours.

Years went by. Over time, he got better. But he never felt quite the same. He never felt like he was whole. When he went about his day as usual, it all felt false. It was so, so wrong, to try being what he was supposed to be, when he wasn’t, and probably never would be again. No, he wasn’t the hobbit he once had been: lustful for life, eager, and happy. Though he laughed, and smiled, and at times felt joy, it never lasted long. When he got back to his empty house every day, he yet again subsided to loneliness.  
Sometimes he dreamt. He woke up, Thorin lying by his side, bright and comforting, sunlight filling the pools of his blue eyes with light. He touched him, kissed him, smiled against his lips.  
But then he woke up. Shivering, grasping at the side of his bed only to find it empty, and pressed his head against the pillow to such a degree that it hurt.

Decades went by. Bilbo never felt truly content. There was always a part of his heart missing. One he could not recover.  
So when he sailed into the west, worn out with old age, he smiled, and for the first time in over eighty years, it felt right; for he was ready to become whole again.


End file.
